Welcome to "hold the bollocks!" (apologies to the sex pistols). And without further ado, i give you the new small plate fascination that is the LAZY OX CANTEEN. I'm not sure when this small plate craze really started but it's getting on my nerves a little bit. I knew it as tapas when I lived in San Francisco back in the early 90's. Esperpento was a tapas joint in the mission district boasting delicious spanish style bar food at a little above bar food prices. Well, the lazy ox ain't your daddy's tapas bar. Why don't i let them tell you about their "philosophy" (does a restaurant require one?). “The Lazy Ox philosophy is simple, our execution anything but… To bring exceptional ingredients prepared artistically at an approachable price." Aside from the glaring grammatical problems with this statement, I can only raise a quizzical eyebrow at the term "approachable price." Yeah, right.
Their dinner menu is posted on their website. www.lazyoxcanteen.com No dish has fewer than 6 words in it's title, with the exception of "assorted seasonal pickles with dill." 4bucks. When is pickle season? Though not on the menu, I ordered that day's special, "dashi marinated yellowtail with avocado and hash brown creme fraich" (8words!) 13bucks. While it was certainly tastey, the yellowtail was chopped up, giving it the appearance of cat food. Avocado? Alright. It's southern california. If you must you must. But hash brown? Fried fucking potato? What is so exceptional (see philosophy above) about that? Again, it was tasty but I'm not sure 13bucks and a mouse-fist size portion are going to bring me back. I also ordered their french fries which is obligatory for me in any new restaurant. Generally, i like em skinny and crispy. That they were. However, they were also sprinkled with dill, an herb I've detested since the age of 6. Also, who puts dill on fries? It's parsley, buddy. Not dill. too strong. I think I caught the chef trying to be clever with food needing no cleverness. The dipping sauce was "gallego sauce," another among many terms I had to google. As far as I can tell "galego" is the language from the Galicia region in northwestern Spain. There is no "gallego sauce" per se.
Granted, I have yet to sample some other plates on the menu, like "hand-torn egg pasta with sunny-side egg, brown butter and fines herbs." yes, "fines" herbs. 11 bucks. There's also "braised beef paleron (pot roast) with cream of wheat, kumquats and red wine" for 23bucks. I'm no simpleton, but i do think the pretention is starting to buck the philosophy, not to mention the price bucking my wallet. If you order one item from each of the 3 sections of the menu you're looking at a minimum of 29 for 3 small plates of food, and one of those is gonna be the "seasonal" pickles. Add the booze. Easily 50bucks and you're walking out hungry.
The ox is situated in the bottom floor of a newly erected loft building on san pedro st in downtown los angeles. A few blocks south is ground zero for homeless services (midnight mission, union rescue mission ,etc). The juxtaposition of deep human suffering and upper middle class gastronomy says all kinds of things and few of them are good.
